


Fade like the end of a movie

by orphan_account



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 05:05:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10757280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Alex knows his father hates him.





	Fade like the end of a movie

  
  
Alex knew his dad hated him. He had always known that. He was living in the shadow of his football playing, fighting, cool older brother, Patrick. He could never be good enough for his dad. It had all started when he was 8. 

 

Patrick and his dad were outside, playing football, while he sat on the counter watching his mother cook, listening to music. He admired his mom. Even at a very young age. “Alex, honey. Try this.” She said, offering a fork full of...some sort of pasta to his lips. It was delicious. “It’s great mommy!” She smiles, “My little boy has great taste. One day you’ll be a chef.” 

 

Soon his dad and his 12 year old brother had come in. Stinking of sweat. Alex crinkled his nose in disgust. The kitchen had smelled amazing, until they came in. “How was the game boys?” The mother asked. “Patrick lost, 13 to zip. You gotta get better at free throws, buddy.” 

 

“Hey! I’m better than Alex!” Patrick claimed. “Alex’ll be out soon playing.” His dad said, ruffling Alex’s mop of brown hair. “I don’t like football!” Alex exclaimed  “I like music.” 

 

His dad sobered, “You like what?” 

“That’s great honey!” his mom said, giving his father a warning look. She mouthed, ‘We’ll talk later.’ 

 

Alex heard them arguing, and he heard the things that were said. 

 

‘No son of mine will be a musician’ His dad had shouted. 

‘He’s 8! His future’s not set in stone!’

‘Patrick started tee-ball at 4!’

‘Alex isn’t Patrick.’

‘He will play a sport. Whether he likes it or not,’

‘It is his choice’

‘Not if he wants to be my son.’

 

“I don’t.” Alex whispers. 

 

Patrick walked into his room, glared and sneered  “Why can’t you just be normal, Freak.” 

 

**_Freak_ **

 

It was the first time he's heard that word (and it wouldn’t be the last) also he wasn’t very sure he liked it. 

* * *

 

He needed a change. The brown hair wasn’t enough. He didn’t stand out. He was boring. He looked in the mirror and ran a hand through his hair. He knew his dad would be extremely pissed. But he didn’t care. His dad couldn’t control him. 

Not anymore

 

He walked into the salon. The lady looked him up and down. 

“How may I help you?”

“Um...I need a change.”

“A change?” 

“Something...anything.” 

 

She looked at his hair, it fell on his face, almost in his eyes as it always had. It was brown. An ugly, mucky, normal brown. 

 

“How about a cut and dye?” She says, reaching out and touching his hair. Alex winced. She gave him a worried look.

 

“Dye.” he says in attempt to make it seem okay. 

“Yeah. Maybe bleach. Oooh you’d look good with bleach.” 

“Doesn’t that crap...like melt your brains or something like that.” 

“Probably.” she shrugged. “but you’ll look good, and in High School that's all that matters. Alex thought about it. 

 

“Alright...do it.”

 

When it was over, it was buzzed and bleached. He looked more like himself than he ever had.  He recognized this person. This was Alex Standall. 

 

“You should get a septum piercing?” 

“A...what?” 

“A nose piercing, but it’s in between your nostrils.” 

 

His dad would murder him. Murder him dead. 

“Where can I get it done?” 

 

When he gets home, he has a gold nose ring and a nervous stomach. What would his dad think? He opened the door, “Alex, son? Is that you?” His dad asked. “Yes sir.” 

 

His dad came into view, “What the hell did you do to your hair.” Alex looked down to the ground, “I bleached it, sir.” he said looking down. 

“You did what?” 

“I bleached it.” 

“Why would you-” He steps closer than pauses, “Look up.”

“What, sir.”

“Dammit! I said look at me.” Alex’s snapped his head up to attention. “Is that a fucking nose ring?!” 

“Yes, sir.” 

His father reached over and hits him hard. His cheek starts to bleed. He keeps doing it. The mother runs in, “Dear! Dear! Stop!” His mother says, pulling him away. 

“No! Look at him! His fucking nose is pierced.” 

“Dear..go calm down.” 

He looked at Alex, “Take that thing out. And tomorrow I better see brown hair.” 

He storms away. 

“Alex…” The mother begins, “go take out your nose ring.” 

“Why mom?” 

“Dad doesn’t like it.”

“I’m not scared of him, mom. You may be! But I’m not.” 

_**He Lied** _

* * *

 

 

When Alex was 17, his father forced him to join a sport. She stood there staring at the board full of sign up sheets. ‘Football’ ‘Basketball’ ‘Baseball’ ‘Soccer’ ‘Cheerleading’. They all sounded awful. Then his eyes fell on one paper. ‘Jazz band’ There was one empty space. ‘Bassist’ 

 

He remembered his uncle played bass. He’d always teach Alex random notes when he was out his house. Back when he was 8 or so. He hadn’t gone back in a long time. He picked up a pencil attached to the clipboard and wrote his name down. He walked down the hallway when he saw Jessica and Hannah, leaning against the lockers and talking. 

 

“Females!” he said, walking up to them. 

“Males!” They answered. 

“I desperately need Monets.” 

“Well let’s go.” Hannah concluded, linking her arms with the other two. 

 

The three skip to Monets for two hot chocolates and...something that has so much sugar it should be illegal. Alex smiled at his friends. Happy for the first time in his life. Glad to have friends. Even if it was just two girls. 

 

That night, they all sat at the dinner table. Eating pizza. 

 

“Hey...scamp...what sport did you sign up for,” His dad asked. 

“Jazz band….” Alex mumbled  

“Don’t mumbled, Alex. Speak up.” 

“Jazz band sir.” 

His father's face grew a dark red. 

“YOU DID WHAT?!” 

“I-I signed up for jazz band.” 

“I TOLD YOU TO SIGN UP FOR A SPORT!” 

“I don’t like sports, please…” 

His father reached over and hit him, hard. 

“Tomorrow, you will quit jazz band and do a sport. OR you will make some new friends. BOYS not those girls.” 

“Sir...please you can’t-” 

“I CAN’T?! OH REALLY WATCH ME!” 

Alex refused to cry, not here. 

Not now. 

* * *

 

 

Alex stared at himself in the mirror. 

 

Who was this boy? The boy whose roots were showing because he couldn’t force himself to go to the salon. The boy with dark circles under his eyes, he couldn’t sleep because he was haunted by the memory of Hannah Baker. The boy who got into a fight and got hurt. Just so his dad would love him.  

He did not recognize this boy

 

Alex realized who this boy was. It was him. It was his Icy blue eyes staring back at him. He didn’t like this boy. Who had he become? He looked at his face, beaten and scarred. That fight was the only time his father had been proud of him, the first time his father had loved him. 

 

Was it the scars? Do they make his dad feel pride in his son?

 

He rolled his sleeve up, perfectly pale skin. Unmarked. 

 

“Hey, mom.” Alex called. 

“Yes, dear!” 

“Where do we keep the razor blades?” 

“Why?”

“I need one for my stubble.”

“You’ve never once had stubble.” 

“Just answer the question, please.” 

“In your dad and my medicine cabinet.”

 

He went to said medicine cabinet, and grabs the box of razor blades. Goes back to his room, gets a piece of paper and a pen and writes a note.  

 

‘Are you proud of these scars, sir.-

ALEX’

 

He goes downstairs and hugs his mom. “I love you mom. God I love you so much.” 

 

“I love you too, honey. What’s wrong?” 

 

“Nothing, mom. I’m just tired. I’m going to bed. Tell dad I said Goodnight.”

 

“Going without dinner?”

 

He nodded, “Not hungry. I love you mom.” 

 

“I love you too, honey.” 

 

He walks upstairs and opens the box of blades. He cuts down. It hurt, but Alex knows all the pain will be over soon. 

 

And just like that Alex Standall fades...like the end of a movie. 

 

The end of Alex Standalls movie. 

 

 

It ended just the way it began. 

 

Alex unloved by his father. 


End file.
